'Cause I Don't Give A Damn About My Reputation...

...a girlhood rant about being exhausted of girly dramas.

Glimpse From my Life: Test Series 2 has begun! And we had our literature paper yesterday. And for the first time in Grade 11, I felt satisfied after writing it, because it was damn easy. I am also working on my novel side by side, because my head is overflowing with ideas. The weather is really bad right now, sometimes I am shivering, and sometimes I am sweating. During these times, the only thing I worship is my bed and my soft blanket, lol! 😂

Today’s Topic:

(P.S. I noticed that girlhood rants are in trend, so here is one from my side as well. Enjoy! 🤭)

I am a single daughter, or rather a single child. And, I am also single when it comes to love life. Hehe.😅

And I am quite happy with my life. Yes, I am perfectly adjusted to this kind of life, with occasional lapses, of course, when temptations give in and I start with the “I wish…” stuff, which is totally worthless.

So, I am gonna talk about how much I hate girlhood drama/ catfights on aisle five. Because, I have been a victim of this, ON SUBSTACK!

I don’t even want to narrate what happened, because I don’t see why anyone should overreact so much. All I can say is that the shit I have been through last month, because of "some people" has truly appalled me. So, I will be really lucid with my words- very clearly, I have Avoidant Personality Disorder. And for the record, I googled my issues and found this, Lol. For the ones who don’t know- Avoidant Personality Disorder, or APD is marked by poor self-esteem and an intense fear of rejection.

I have been a single daughter, and my parents’ only child. I have always been confined to a safe coccoon away from the vicious world, and have mentally stayed in the secured vicinity of my parents’ love, care and support. Under my parents’ shadow, I never had to face backlash or rejection from anyone for voicing my opinions. But, this is social media, my friend! And I learned it the hard way…

I don’t know if it’s the disorder or the complexities of this delicate and feisty teenage age I am in now, but I am really outspoken and straight-forward. I will openly praise people and do it with exuberance, but will also speak openly if I feel that someone is being unfair to me, of course, keeping in mind that I don’t target anyone but rather make it a generalised statement.

Unfortunately, I was chased with pitchforks, because someone wanted to act as the ambassador on behalf of the type of people I was speaking about, and I don’t know how, but I was roped in a filthy girly drama.

I have made a mental note to myself- to stay away from the hypersensitive and "liberal" women crowd, because not even girls themselves are safe from this "feminism" bullshit now.

Someone please explain to me: how is it that when someone else expresses dissapointment, they get “Ily” and “Stay Strong, Girl” in response, but when I do it, I get this?:

HE WROTE THIS ON MY NOTE!!!

Whoever this guy is, you have never read a single piece of my article. I know I am not some experienced writer, but I ain’t whiny either. I write pretty wholesome stuff, which goes unnoticed, of course. Who will remember those 40 articles I have published till now? People will only hold on to that single time when I expressed myself, and then very conveniently unsubscribe to me 😔. The thing which saddened me the most was that no one, I repeat, absolutely NO ONE spoke in my favour even once! I was left all alone in this frenzy of hatred and mean comments.

A woman had written this absurd note about me…she very conveniently forgot that I have been supporting her and replying to each of her notes since 1st July (the day I had joined Substack) and have been really kind to her. But she always gave me a cold shoulder. Just one message about my publication two months back, and she thinks I am “using” her. She hadn’t even followed me on Substack, forget subscribing. And she even blocked me after this drama, and called me a delusional person. And the reason behind this personal hatred on her part is that I AM A MINOR!! Like, is that even my fault?

And yeah, I think I deserve success because I am really versatile. She only writes pity essays, whereas I write stories, poems and essays. I am just 16, and even I have been writing stories since time immemorial. Hence, I would earnestly request the people who don’t know me or a single thing about my writing to think twice before writing such things about me.

And it doesn’t make me needy, it means I am confident that my writing deserves recognition.

I discovered the fickle-minded nature of human beings that day.

Now, I don’t use a lot of heart emojis or ILYs in my replies and comments, and I don’t write about my life problems that much either. I write more about societal problems in a satirical way, romantic short stories and poems…and the reception is heartbreaking. But, I never whine about it, at all. I rather stay confined to my own shell and sulk about it.

I had once seen a quote from Sylvia Plath, where the last two lines were, “Yet, God, I want to talk to everybody I can as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night.” That pretty much sums up my minimal wishes: I want a freedom of speech, where I can speak and express my emotions freely, as lomg as I am not targeting anyone. I want all kinds of freedom, without any backlash. I am not harming anyone, am I? Why won’t you let me express myself freely without constraints?🥺

And, the rate at which people change their perception about others is really disheartening. You judge people based on the one side of the story narrated by the opponent, and then build a negative impression about that person in your mind. I am not advertising myself, but I am sure I am not a bad person, atleast not what "some" people on here have taken me as. I am really kind to everyone. I have never insulted, or demeaned anyone. I treat everyone as my friend, be it the big creators or small creators, subscribers or non-subscribers.

Just recently, I made publication logos for the ones who have been really friendly with me on here, and some of them have even used my logos. I did it out of gratitude and respect for them, because unlike "some other people", they supported me during this "unnecessary drama" and even spoke on my behalf.

I have a few takeaways from this incident:

1. I should stay away from hypersensitive women, and toxic feminists in the name of "liberal women"

2. I should speak my heart out, and just flip off the haters who like playing the victim card.

3. I should learn to know people better, and not be kind to anyone and everyone blindly.

4. Not everyone deserves my kindness and time.

5. I WILL write a post if my sentiments are hurt in the worst way possible.

6. IDGAF about what people think of me.

   

   The list of people who supported me equally, even after this drama is a long one, but I will mention them nonetheless!

   Ritwik Upadhyay
   ,
   Janu
   ,
   Tid_Talks
   ,
   Kathy Enriquez-Nguyen
   ,
   Alesha 💕
   ,
   Luciana Cole
   ,
   emma
   ,
   Shrishti Verma
   ,
   Iqjot Kaur
   ,
   Abhishek Singh
   ,
   Rohan Banerjee
   ,
   Vanilla Oatmilk Latte
   ,
   Annastacia.J.C
   ,
   Ami Putman, Mindset Nerd
   ,
   Sonaakshi Sinha Jamwal
   and many others…even
   Mark Meier
   . In case I have missed out on someone, don’t hesitate to message me in the dms, I will surely edit and add you as well!☺️

So, thats it from my side…I think I should stop being bothered by what people say, because dogs only know how to bark, and haters will always speak behind your back, because they are "behind" (

Tid_Talks

, one of my best supporters and equivalent to my elder sister, had told this to me when I narrated this incident to her. I love her and her works A LOT!)

Have a nice day ahead…Kudos!