"Love Was When I Loved You" - Episode 3

Chris and Serena... at the Oakland High School.

No one knows him, no one even cares if he is dead or alive, because he spent his school years without socializing with anyone. Chris was the kind of guy who used to stay confined to his own space. He had a handsome face, which wasn’t that noticeable because of his specs, he had black hair, and he was really tall. His voice was deep and confident. He used to work hard and always top in his classes, which was another reason why people used to be irked by his presence because the "bratty" students of his school didn’t tolerate "nerds" around them. He would always be mocked by the popular boys of his school. Sometimes, they used to grab his collar and yank him to the side in the hallway, while sometimes, they used to throw spitballs at him and call him names in front of the teacher in the class.

Talking about the girls, they used to flinch at his sight and walk to the side, so that they don’t come into contact with him, as if he were an untouchable person. Seeing the treatment he used to receive, he never even dared to ask any girl out, or for the upcoming homecoming dance. Whenever there used to be any school prom or event, he used to be at home, listening to sad songs and questioning his worth. He had kind of accepted the fact that he would die alone.

The Oakland High School in Asheville was slowly turning out to be a nightmare for him when it came to his social life. During break time, he always used to sit underneath a tree in the garden, munching on some fruit and storyboarding on his novel, because no one wanted to hang out with him. Sitting there, he always used to see a girl seated on the other side of the park, singing beautiful songs and playing a guitar. She was pretty, tall, and had brown curly hair, with her hair always tied in a high pony, and a wavy strand of hair hanging on either side of her face. By the looks of her face, she had a sweet demeanour and a bubbly mood.

One day, when he was sitting underneath that tree, the popular guys from his class approached him and started teasing him for being single for the upcoming dance. One of the guys said, “You know what, Chris, you should stop hoping that you will ever get a partner. Well, only if that Serena girl agrees, then it will be a jackpot for you. Even she has the reputation of dying single” Another guy laughed along and said, “Man! If that happens, I will dance like an ape in the hallway.” The third guy chuckled and said, “I will feel bad for Serena if she entertains him. She has got standards too, you know.”

“Yo, dumbass, Back off !” A girl’s voice yelled from behind. Chris turned his head to the side to see that guitar girl from the park standing there, with her face stern and her arms crossed in a defensive stance. She had a stern no-nonsense look on her face and it was evident that she wasn’t going to put up with their nonsense. She said, “Better leave him alone, else I won’t take five minutes for me to tackle you morons to the ground. Now move it!” Those guys scoffed and walked away, nodding their heads as if they felt pity for her.

Chris turned to face her, with a small smile on his lips. He spoke nervously, “Hello there. Hi. I, ummm…I see you singing and playing your guitar in the park every day. And you are from my high school. What is your name?” She calmly replied, “Serena. Serena Thompson.” Chris’s expression falters a bit as he realizes that she is the one those guys were talking about. Serena huffed a laugh and said, “Those guys are total jerks, you need not worry about them. Their job is to pull you down. I have noticed their behaviour at school as well. Anyways, since we got to meet each other, let’s be friends.” She extended her hand for him to shake it. Chris hesitated a bit, considering the shit those guys had spoken about him as well as her.

He took a good look at her face for the first time. The way the curly strands of her hair were hanging loose on either side of her face, the blonde ombre highlights in her black hair, the way her pink lip gloss shone in the afternoon sunlight, the way she was so beautiful. After letting out a deep breath, he shook her hand. She joked and said, “That took an awful amount of time. Where were you lost?” Chris smiled and said, “Just…awestruck, you know. I never thought I would finally get a female best friend.” Serena nodded her head saying, “I know, I know. Even you are my first male friend. It is going to be fun. We can hang out together, I can sing and play my guitar for you. Awesome!” She squeaked happily. Chris smiled seeing her happy squeaks.

From that day onwards, they met at the park every day. She played her guitar and sang for him, as she had promised. Chris showed her the novel he was writing, which was a love story with a sad ending. He had expected her to get bored and yawn while he was reading out the draft to her, but she seemed to take an interest in the story. “Wow! It is heartfelt and sad. Good job on the storyboarding.” Chris smiled and said, “Thanks. All my life I have been a lovelorn guy. I have never known what true love is like. Ironically, I can frame true love in words.” Serena bit her lower lip and nodded her head in agreement. She said, “Chris, what if you experience it some day? I mean, every person is destined to have a life partner. You just have to give it some time. What if you find her someday?” Chris took a deep breath, looked down at his tablet then at her, and whispered, “I will treat her like a queen and spend every waking moment letting her know that she is loved dearly. I will ensure that she always has a smile on her face, and make her my first priority.” He smiled slowly after saying this. Serena gave a warm smile as well.

They grew closer over the days. The High School greeted them with nasty couple names, even though they were best friends. This irked both of them, because they believe that two opposite genders can be close friends as well. Deep inside, Chris knew that he was falling for Serena. Her sweet and welcoming demanour was the first thing that attracted him. Also, her immense talent intrigued him. Her beauty didn’t matter much to him, even though he appreciated it. The main thing which made him fall for her was her precious heart. And he would make sure it never breaks.

One day, they had gone to a new restaurant for dinner. Since it was really late, Chris was hell bent on dropping her home, even though she said it wasn’t needed. After 10 minutes, he reached her place and stopped the car in front of her house. Since then, everything became awkward all of a sudden. Neither did Serena step out of the car, nor did Chris say anything. They both sat weirdly, fidgeting with their fingers. The car was filled with their muffled breathing and the air was thick with tension. After a while, their eyes met. They couldn’t tear their gaze away from each other. Suddenly, they found themselves leaning closer, as if they were moving on autopilot. A while later, their lips slowly touched. They were in a dilemma - they didn’t know why they were doing this, but they couldn’t deny that it felt good. They pulled away after a few seconds, flushed and dazed.

Serena started smiling weirdly because she liked the kiss but didn’t want to admit it in front of him. The same was the case with Chris. “Uh-ok. See you at school tomorrow. Good night.” Serena murmured. “Oh, yeah, umm, good night. Sleep tight.” Serena nodded and quickly stepped out of the car. Chris drove away as quickly as possible. Both of them were smiling and rethinking their first kiss ever, especially Chris, given that he was head over heels in love with her.

Months went by and they finally approached the last month of their high school. People started preparing for their SATs and started applying for different colleges. Chris was applying for Yale University. To his surprise, Serena, even though she was an extremely ambitious girl, did not look that focused. She had distanced herself from Chris and wasn’t her bubbly and musical self anymore. She seemed rather…lost. She used to come to school sometimes, but her eyes seemed hollow, her face seemed dull, and there was a hint of sadness on her face. She didn’t sit at the park anymore during recess. Chris seemed really troubled by her sudden change in demeanour. It was as if she was unrecognisable. She was not even close to the Serena he was in love with. He couldn’t take it anymore.

One fine afternoon, he strided over to her house and rang the doorbell. Serena’s grandmother opened the door, and invited him inside. Seeing Serena’s grandmother and the way she was so kind with him, he understood where Serena had got her welcoming nature from. But, Serena’s grandmother looked as if she was maintaining a facade of happiness over a sad face. “So, Mrs. Thompson, do you know where Serena is right now?” She slowly but sadly replied, “Son, Serena is your best friend. Didn’t she tell you about her chemotherapy today?” Chris looked completely blank. Chemotherapy? Serena was going through chemotherapy? Why did she never mention it?

“Chem-chemotherapy? What-why is she having that?” Serena’s grandmother replied, “Didn’t she tell you about her secondary breast cancer?” The moment Chris heard this, he felt as if his world was crumbling, he felt as if someone had knocked the air out of his lungs, he could feel his heart shattering into a million pieces. Serena’s grandmother informed him that she was in New Horizons Women Cancer Care. He took leave of her and started walking out of the place. His legs had went numb, and he was struggling to walk properly. He stumbled his way out of the house.

He was walking through the streets, lost in thoughts, and his face was horror stricken. He couldn’t imagine the girl he loves going through such pain, and the fact that she was hiding it from him all this while was breaking him. In the middle of the street, he suddenly dropped to his knees and broke down into tears, His shoulders were shaking, his chest was heaving with every sob, he looked like a weak, broken mess. He buried his face in his hands and sobbed uncontrollably. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her. He wanted to meet her, to tell her about his feelings before he regrets it for life.

He wiped his tears, gained some composure and started walking towards her hospital. After a while, he reached the hospital, and after enquiring with the receptionist, walked over to her room. The moment he entered the room, the sight of her weak body almost brought him to his knees again. She had become so skinny, that her bones were visible, he could see the signs of chemotherapy, and she had become bald.

When he let out a small gasp due to denial, she heard him and turned his head to look at him. She was flabbergasted seeing him, because he was the last person she thought would be there. Chris couldn’t tear his gaze away from her eyes and took slow and short steps towards her bed. He sat on the chair near the bedside and took her soft hand in his. She looked down at their intertwined hands for a moment and then looked at his face again. He was still crying, the tears streaming down his face rapidly. He was completely broken, and she was the only source who was anchoring him from falling apart completely.

“Why, why did you do this Serena? Why didn’t you tell me about your cancer?” He finally asked when he could regain his voice back. Serena slowly replied, “I didn’t want to hurt you with the news. I thought-” He cut her off by saying, “That maintaining distance would solve it? Let me tell you something - it didn”t solve a fucking thing! It made it even worse. You could have easily told me about your cancer. Yeah, I am not a doctor but I could have been by your side everyday. I lost all the time where I could be with you, just because you maintained distance. You pushed me away even when you know I care for you, and that is hurting as hell. We have been close for more than a year, you are not just my best friend you are-” He took a deep breath to calm himself down, and continued, “You are the love of my life, the girl I want to be with for my entire life. And I will continue to love you the same forever.”

Serena gave a slow smile, and a single tear rolled down from the corner of her eyes in a single path towards her ear. She said with a shaky voice, “Chris, I love you too, but I didn’t want to admit it for the fear of ruining what we have. And, I could kind of understand that you love me. That is why I decided to distance myself from you so that you don’t get hurt knowing that we have little time together. I wish I could leave this world silently without letting you know.” Serena’s wish for death inflicted an almost physical blow on his heart. He grasped her hand with both his hands, shook his head sideways, not wanting to accept that she could leave him, and pressed his forehead to hers. They both were holding each other close and crying their hearts out.

After a while, she spoke up, “I only have a few days more, but don’t let that hamper your future and career. After my death, I may not be there with you physically, but I will always be there with you in spirits. I will always help you from heaven. Just don’t get distracted after my death. Work hard and get into Yale. If you are unable to get into Yale because of me, my soul won’t be in peace. This is my last wish. And one more thing- please, please do get your novel published. Okay?”

Chris nodded his head vigourously, “Yes, anything for you Serena. I love you.” His voice was choked with emotion. “I love you too. I think you should go now. Start preparing for your SATs. All the best for your future.” she stroked his head with her hand. He took the hand stroking his head in his hands and gently kissed her knuckles. Then giving her one last look, he walked out of the room with a heavy heart. He was determined to work hard, for her.

Two days later, she died.

He had slipped into depression after her death. He used to visit her grave everyday, standing there and talking to her gravestone, as if she was actually there listening to him. He eventually got into Yale and had his novel published. He had named it "Beyond the Serene Lake," after Serena. His novel soon became a bestseller, and he gained huge popularity because of it, but he credited all of it to Serena’s soul, which was blessing him from heaven.

Years later, he is a successful corporate employee at J.P Morgan and Co., but not a day goes by where he doesn’t think of Serena. He was right when he said that he would make sure the girl he loves is always happy, because Serena is smiling from heaven since he fulfilled all her wishes.

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Thank you for reading the third episode of “Love Was When I Loved You.” The next post will be a non-fiction one. Stay Tuned! ☺